Parents' Failed Investment

Strolling down the shopping mall alone on a mild Sunday afternoon, I was sipping on a cup of iced herbal tea. After a week of handling a classroom of seemingly innocent kids, I needed a remedy to soothe my throat. There I was, minding my business as I window shopped, a sudden high pitched cry caught me to a halt. Instinctively, I gazed around my vicinity to detect the source of the unpleasant noise. Right in front of me, a toddler, not more than 2 years old, was throwing a fit at his parents while wailing like a mad hungry parrot.

On usual days, I would discreetly investigate from a distance as to what might have caused a child to tear up. On my day offs, I couldn’t care less. As I resumed my stroll, the parents were desperately trying to placate, presumably, their baby but to no avail. By now, the child’s face had transformed into an overheated kettle on full steam. I pulled out my earphones to drown the audio torture with some techno melody. Just when I was about to press played, the parents started to bicker with each other with the still crying toddler on the floor. Although it was hard to make out the words of their argument with earphones on, it was clear enough that they were quarreling about parenthood.

It is no mystery that being parents is an arduous responsibility. Part of the package of being parents involve feeding an extra mouth, buying toys to entertain easily bored minds and educating children to secure a future of filial income after retiring. To put in simple terms, being parents is an investment and a risky one. You never know if your child would go astray or would not grow up to your standard. Furthermore, money is always a problem in societies these days. There will never be signs as to when an “investment” would go wrong but it will be satisfying if it’s worth it.

Indeed, my parents were investors as well, in both procreating and business. Like all parents, mine had high hopes in all their children, especially me given that I am the eldest among my siblings. Not to sound cliché, a list of achievements was expected from me such as getting the best grades, profit-minded, filial, dating the right girl etc. The list went on. Upon realizing that I could not fulfill these tasks, the expectation was pushed onto my first brother and the next. Imagine how that it felt when I was subtly being told that I wasn’t good enough.

The reason behind these high hopes lies in the notion that money makes the world goes round. Being the stereotypical frugal Chinese, my parents are all about milking money. I used the term milking because it wasn’t just about working hard for an honest income. Making friends with high social-economic background and working at a charity event to earn a quick buck were among some of activities my parents vigorously participated in all year round. For unknown logic, surrounding oneself with wealthy people and being seen as charitable would somehow increase one’s bank account. Even as minuscule as losing a few Ringgit would be a heinous crime in my parents’ eyes. It was frugality in the extreme. Since I was part of the family, it was a silent rule that I should heed all these advices if I were to live a successful life.

Of course, I rebelled against their ideals and I became the bad investment. With my ever non-conforming attitude, I followed my own dream and career pathway. On the surface, I would be greeted with kinds words like “How was your day at work?” Initially, I thought they turned to the other side of the leaf and supported me in my own life choices. That ended when the conversation reverted back to the topic of money. “Are you earning enough?” “Why don’t you try this job my friend introduced? You will earn more.” Eventually, to save myself from the headache of explaining my life goals, I just responded with nods of pretense. It was enough to satisfy their ever hopeful mind that they were right all along. Days when I had to meet my parents were always dreadful as I had to paint a façade on my face. Deep down though, my parents knew the truth and I supposed they had a façade of their own.

Meanwhile, as their sons all turned out to be undesirable investments, my parents continued their endeavors elsewhere. Their unquenchable thirst for perpetual monetary gain caught them drinking at the wrong side of the pool. Let’s just say shady (or moronic) actions were carried out. Unfortunately, these investments of theirs disrupted their lives and the lives of those around them. Namely, my brothers and I had to bear the blunt of the force as well. Normally, I couldn’t care less how my parents went about with their days but this crossed the line. Voices were raised. Tantrum was thrown. Tears were wept. My parents’ whole investment plans fell out, both financial-wise and their relationship with me. I kept my distance between my family with the exception of my brothers for fear that I would scream and shout uncontrollably like the toddler.

Suddenly, it dawned on me that the toddler and I weren’t so unalike. He was probably upset at the parents for something. As it turned out, he just wanted the parents to carry him, the reassurance that the security and comfort were still there. The moment he was embraced on his father’s arms, the crying ceased. I watched him as his frown turned to a giggle and I wondered again, if he and I were alike.

No More Wishes

Do you remember a time long ago, when you couldn’t stop yourself from counting down the days and you would wake up every morning complaining why the big day couldn’t be here soon? Yes, I’m talking about your birthday. Like everyone else, I always dreamed of the perfect birthday since childhood. In my mind, I expected a room full of streamers and balloons of myriad of colors as if someone had sprayed a whole school supply of paint. To add to the palette, a corner of the room would be piled up by blocks of presents in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Meanwhile, sounds of laughter and joy echoed throughout the room as both adults and children happily enjoyed each other’s company. Last but not least, the dining table would be speckled with mouth watering dishes catered to each taste bud. Fried chicken, stirred fried veggies, cheesy macaroni, steamed pomfret with a dash of yummy sweet vinegar sauce. Laid out around the table, the centerpiece would be, nonetheless, a huge chocolate-filled chocolate brownie cake dribbled extra chocolate sauce and sprinkled with vivid color-dyed rice. As everyone joined hands, a birthday song would be sung with me anticipating a wish come true as I blew out the only light in a dark room, sending a message to a wish granter in the hope that my wish would come true. Not a moment later, everyone would dig in and more echoes of joy will occupy the room.

That was the magic of a birthday. Be it a kid or an adult, miracles can happen on a person’s birthday, even if it may only play out in the person’s head. Plus, nothing is as magical as a birthday wish. The energy of a wish is at its highest peak when a person closes his or her eyes while clasping the hands really tightly, almost like praying, to really hope that the wish would be granted on the special day. I too had such magical thoughts but as the ages passed, it faded.

Not more than a week ago, I was celebrating my 24^th birthday. While I was bestowed with kind birthday wishes, the companionship of loved ones and several cakes, I realized I was as hopeful as I once used to be. The anticipation of a colorful room with laughter echoing was not there anymore. Even as a lovely scrumptious cake was presented to me, I couldn’t wait to blow it out even if no wishes were made. Somehow or rather, I just couldn’t wait to get it over with. This isn’t implying that my friends were source of lackluster of the day. They were great as they did their best to make sure my day was special and I couldn’t be more thankful. However, it didn’t eliminate the gnawing feeling I had in my heart. Perhaps I have become a grouchy birthday-equivalent Grinch or I have misplaced my wishful thoughts somewhere in the passage of time. I couldn’t see the Wish Granter. A dark room with a candle lit is just a dark room to me now. There’s no indication of hope or dream. My birthday was no longer special. It was another ordinary mundane day.

It sounds depressing and I couldn’t deny it. I do wish, though, that someday I could visit that joyous room again.

The New Year

Three days ago, fireworks were flying in the night sky all over the world. While their beauty was admired by many with hopeful anticipation for the new year, it lasted in a split second and the night was just any other night, albeit smokier.

Just like that, it is now the third day of January 2015 and time would not offer mercy to slow down for anyone. Once the festive mood in us comes to a pause, we have to pick up the pace and start the rat race that is the life we are living these days.

Regardless of what the new year has installed for us, we should retain some of that festiveness inside of us. For some reasons, 2014 seemed to clog up with tragedies (more so than usual) and some sadness lingers in the air, even till now. That is why the flame of the festiveness must remain burning even if it's at a low fire. For once it goes out, it would be a challenge to ignite it again.

My message to all of you is to keep your heads up and keep that festiveness burning. It's a start of a new year and this is your chance to rev up your flames and celebrate.

Days of Past 2014

Filling this blog with my daily activities hasn't been easy. Given that this month itself, I managed to publish two posts. Earlier this year, I tasked myself to decorate this blog as lively as I live my life throughout 2014. Seemed like not too long ago that I was drafting my first post for the year and now, it looks like I will be drafting my first post for 2015.

If you haven't been reading my blog (boo-hoo), you probably won't notice that I dedicated a post to feature each month that had past this year, sharing my experience from the point of view of an intern to a cashier to an educator. To say it was a roller coaster ride would be understatement because it offered so much more that I couldn't put into words (or maybe I can but I'm too sluggish to think of anything).

To walk down the memory lane of 2014, I will feature some of my personal best photos that I took this year which would also summarize my overall reminiscence of this past year.

It started as a battle...

All new year is a different battlefield that we must face inevitably. Like joining a newly created Dota game, the players differ each time. While some have no idea what's going on (me included), some are adept to the point that they can destroy you in matters of minutes. Similarly, I started this year with a slam of work ethics during my internship and I can honestly say that I had no clue as to what the heck was going on. Even to this point, there are times when I'm just so lost in work.




Work aside, my social life and hobbies came to frequent standstill as well. With regards to the former, I find myself lonelier after my degree ended. Needless to say, friends separated and went their own way and I was left to fend off the war of life myself. Over the time, some of them did come back to my circle while I acquainted some new ones too. This wasn't as depressing as my work life and I did learn to cherish my friends more.

Coming to my interest and hobbies, the reason why my blog or Instagram wasn't as lively as others' was due to the fact that I hit a bump on my creative side. Called it creative constipation, I couldn't muster an idea to write about or to photograph. I ended up watching adult cartoons and Sex and the City instead. While I'm adjusting myself to cope with my working life, I do hope my creativity will ignite from an ember to flame throughout next year.

Becoming a comforting melancholy...

In the span of 12 months, I had reverted back to the morbidity that I used to find comforting in the times when I was alone. The sweet melancholy of sadness and despondency developed from the tension of work and the ambiguity of my future enveloped me and I openly embraced it. I was a very repressed kid back in high school so I know a thing or two about being morbid. This was not to say I was suicidal but I looked at the work in a half empty way and I enjoyed it. Such phenomenon would rise and wane during certain months but I'm glad to say it's over now (well, there is some juice left but it's sealed tight).

Then, everything is awesome...

Of course, when it comes down to it, I would say I had fun venturing into new battle territories. Setbacks were to be expected but extra points scored from all the laughs and learning propelled me to look forward to another day no matter how gloomy the weather was.

Since the start, changes were around the corners and it was futility in practice to try to stop their influence. Same goes to whatever is going to happen in 2015. No matter how dark the clouds loom over the horizon, just sing a happy tune and you will realize they could provide a joyful wintry feel to the hot mess countries are facing these days (cue "Let It Go").





"Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without" - Buddha

Energizer Bunnies

I'm tired, both physically and mentally. In the span of two weeks, my body would collapse onto my bed without any assistance from the Sandman. There were times when I couldn't even muster the energy to shower even though I have spent more than 12 hours outdoor and let me tell you that I'm a neat freak with my body. The urge to be clean was buried so deep in my subconsciousness.

Yet, everyday, I manage to wake up at the same time and I continue with my daily work routine. Initially, I would be drunk in drowsiness but a quick jab of self motivation can get me going for the rest of the day (or to be specific, another 12 hours). Let me remind you that I'm working with kiddies these days and those things are life-size Energizer Bunnies. I need to plaster a cheerful face and hype up an enormous amount of energy lest I want a class full of yawns and nappy time.

This thought comes to my mind whenever I'm teaching a class. Always on cue, I would dread about it whenever I go to work. However, no matter how mentally and physically drained, I'm somehow charged when I'm in front of my students. Regardless of their age, personality or attitude, my supposed plastered cheerfulness turns out to be genuine. Something about them just brings me joy and delight. Perhaps, it's their infectious glee or their determination to live. It dawns on me that they are not Energizer Bunnies but adorable Power Banks that just fully charged my battery.

Let's face it, we all are tired but we need something to motivate us, to get us through the day no matter how overwhelming our fatigue is. I will miss the bunnies that I was teaching in the past few days and it will take some time before I find another source of motivation (or other bunnies). Needless to say, every dawn is a new day and so long that we can find those motivation to carry us onwards, the day will start bright. 

Brewing a Successful Coffeehousel

In the versatile society that we live in, fads come as quickly as they go. The latest trend that brewed up in everyone's cup is enjoying a Cuppa Joe in a cafe. Indeed, strolling down any urban streets will be greeted with at least one coffeehouse. It ranges from a high end commercialized coffeehouse like Starbucks to seemingly obscure parlours with a name that skips everyone's mind. Although the qualities and standards vary, most of them always seem to be full house with patrons continuously pouring in by the hour, all the way til closing time.

There's no doubt that opening a coffeehouse seems like a auspicious business plan, giving current consumers' craving for all things caffeine and sweetness. As a consumer myself, I can name you more than 10 coffeehouses under 10 seconds. However, just like fads, some coffeehouses close down just as fast they set it up. Main reason is usually being that there isn't enough income to upkeep the perpetually rising economy.

As such, I dedicate this post as to the features of successful coffeehouses (from a consumer's perspective, of course).

1) Always Stay Connected
With the global demand to stay online 24/7, WIFI has become an urban survival need on par with water and air. As depressing as it may be, we need Internet these days if we want to keep up with the ever changing trends. Thus, coffeehouses are the best place to sit down and stay connected with the world since we can chill with a cup of coffee while a jazzy/lounge music is playing in the background (the playlists usually consist of early 2000s songs, much to my delight).

This is a top priority for patrons who do not have Internet at home (me included) or a slow one for that matter. Let's face it, students and employees these days are in dire need of Internet to complete their work which consist of surfing the web. For my case, I need to update myself with all the Youtube videos I subscribed to and not to mention, writing this blog.

Additionally, having WIFI alone is not enough. You need fast speed. Don't forget, people are becoming more hectic and everything must be on the go. That includes the WIFI. If the cafe doesn't have WIFI, it's horrible for business but if the cafe has slow WIFI, you get horrible reviews. At the very least, those parlours without WIFI are honest about not being connected to the web. As for those with slow Internet, patrons might cash in with the thought that they can surf the net at the place but those frowns would turn into frustrations, especially in the attempt of watching a Youtube video. They will feel cheated and the cafe would be unwelcomed with horrible reviews posted on social networks, like a Shyamalan movie.

Thus, to pack a coffeehouse with patrons, you need good and fast WIFI.

2) Freshly Brewed Goodness
To be known as a coffeehouse, you need coffee (duh!) but not just any coffee. It is undeniable that venues like Starbucks or Coffeebean are well-known, even if they have unstable WIFI. They offer freshly brewed caffeinated beverages with a beguiling fragrance that captivates a tensed mind like a hormonally charged teenager falling in love for the first time. Such aroma would bring even the most indefatigable business executives to their knees.

Each successful coffeehouse should possess its own signature beverage. For instance, Starbucks has its infamous Signature Hot Chocolate. It sounds like a recipe for diabetes but the chocolaty goodness is too strong to resist. Some coffeehouses like the one I'm currently in - Scooters -  have its own unique drink. Scooters offers a ball of cotton candy to compliment the coffee served to you. Even a greasy fast food restaurant like McDonald has its own brand of beverage endemic to its franchise - The Himalayan Tea. Contrary to its image of everything fried and oily, I'm quite fond of the Himalayan Tea.

3) The Rest of the Menu
While coffees are the quintessential of a coffeehouse, having a menu of varieties of goody treats always appeases a demanding crowd. Whoever says they do not have a craving for cakes and desserts are liars on a diet. Almost all coffeehouses I've been to have some cakes on display behind glass casing. The more colorful the display, the more 'ka-ching' you hear from the cash register. We are all fat little kids on the inside and we crave the delicious sweetness a cake can fulfill.

Some other cafes provide a different kind of menu. One of them is Meteora, a cafe near my workplace. It provides lunch meals and desserts like cheerios. It's not often you find such a treat in Malaysia. Basically, a myriad menu is appreciated by a myriad of customers.

4) Social Friendly Atmosphere
When you're meeting up with friends and you tired of walking aimlessly around the mall, the next place location to hang around is a coffeehouse. With the access to the Internet to respond the ever prerequisite Whatsapp messages and the taste of good coffee, you are in good mood to spend some wonderful time with your friend chatting about the insignificance of your life. As a social being, we humans need constant social contact.

Homes are usually off limits due to the presence of prying parents and dirty secret behind bedrooms. Thus, a location is needed to gossip about the studious students that always scoring A or the co-worker that seems to brag about being the boss's favourite. A coffeehouse offers the sort of ambiance one can sink into relaxation and release all the boxed up thoughts of hurdles of life. A hipster environment is an added advantage as it rubs off some of its authenticity to the customers, making them feel as though they are hipsters without even trying.

As such, an impeccable coffeehouse should contain a well air-conditioned room but leaving enough room for the caffeinated aroma to dance across the room. As mentioned beforehand, music is essential as well. Customers come to relax. So the playlists should not include any hardcore rock'n'roll or the R&B/Pop nonsense that has been filling radio these days. Lastly and dare I say it, the toilet should be homely as well. No one likes a dirty toilet. Nice decors like flower pots and pebbles are sufficient to transform a place of bad odour to an imagined room of comfort for deep thoughts of life.

And that's my reasons as to how a coffeehouse can be successful. Of course, there are many other reasons which I may have neglected but I believe that these fours should be an owner's priority. If the coffeehouse provides just the right conditions, a customer could literally stay here for 6 hours straight. Yup, I have been staying in this cafe since 5pm and it's almost 11pm. I better sign off before the owner realizes I'm free loading on their complimentary water. Ciaoz

The Missing Pieces

Whenever I have an idea or inspiration to build LEGO structures or take photographs using minifigures, I often find myself digging my box for the pieces that I want. I do not have a proper display case for them and I firmly believes that there is no use to exhibit them behind glass cases as I would take them out most of the times anyway for my photography. The idea of painstakingly rearranging them in a specific post is discomforting. Thus, I would rather have them sorted out in a box, a la minifigures, accessories and bricks.

Given the confined spaces of my boxes, some pieces would detach or fell apart whenever I attempt to dig up pieces at the bottom of the box. My clumsy hands inadvertently crumple the adjacent models. What I mean by models are like Snaily here. 

Consequently, during one of my building frenzies, I could literally spend a good two to three hours creating a LEGO-esqued scene because most of my time is wasted on finding those detached pieces which for some reason, always end up at the bottom of the box.

It is extremely frustrating as these pieces are minuscule. The situation becomes more dire when it comes to minifigures. At times, I would purposefully detach their tiny hands or legs so that I can create an original persona. Given my lack of fondness for all things meticulous, I would unknowingly drop these pieces into the seemingly giant boxes. The next time I try to reuse the same pieces, I have to go through the trouble of finding them. It doesn't help when they camouflage themselves with the other pieces, escaping detection.

There are times when these pieces could not be located at all. Even to the point of dumping out all the pieces, the intended ones still elude me. It is moments like this that I turn myself into a panicky White Rabbit and I would frantically search every nooks and crannies of my room for them. You know it's serious when droplets of sweat starts to soak your forehead and your shirt in an air-conditioned room. Tolerance fades away and annoyance worry and restlessness become your unwanted companions. Meanwhile, nothing will soothe your mind until you find those missing pieces. It will come to a point that it's futile to even continue. I end up lying on my mattress, thinking could I have accidentally lost the piece the last time I used it for photography outside.

All seem lost until I fumble among the pile of LEGO and there it is. The pieces I want have been hiding in plain sight. Letting a sigh of relief, I happily resume the building process, albeit the huge mess I have to clean up.

It is easy to think that things we are looking for go missing all the time when instead they have always been there. No intrusion, no theft but merely hiding in plain sight. We find them missing because we never truly appreciate them until we need them. I admit, I have yearned for the adoration of my students, carefully making sure that they get what they want while maintaining a certain level of discipline and boundary. I always thought that the pieces connecting me and my students are missing but instead, they have always been there. I found out about this when one of my students teared up in my last class with him, saying that he will miss me. I was touched. I supposed I have been focusing too much on making them happy with me that I didn't really focus on them.

So, appreciate the people around you and they will never become those missing pieces that you need to find.

Trip for Tripped

In the days of working culture, there comes a certain weekend when we will be jamming our bags impatiently with any clean loose clothes we can find in the closet; trying miserably to convince any available friends we can contact on Whatsapp to tag along; and rushing haphazardly to the first tourist hotspot our stressed out brain can muster. Yes, we occasionally make holiday trips, even if it's just for the weekends. But ever wonder why we make them? Why we gladly ignite the match that could potentially burn a hole in our pocket?

Truth of the matter is small excursions are made every now and then when life becomes a tad too unbearable. They are a necessity to keep our mind intact, given that spending our precious time in a counselling office is on no one's itinerary. Thus, on most weekends, certain tourist traps become a beacon of desperation for enjoyment. In Malaysia, historical cities like Malacca and Georgetown are epitome of tourist frenzy. In short, all these trips are eagerly done in a desperate attempt to cleanse our occupational tension that we have accumulated in (what I call) a hectic urban lifestyle.

That is to say, if we ponder deeply on this, it's life way of tripping us. Just like a mischievous brat, life has a knack of pulling prank on us. Using the element of surprise, it sticks out its foot when we are least expecting and before we are aware of it, it trips us. Whether we go down unscathed or we inflict a permanent scar, life would just snicker (Ha! Ha!) without a slightest hint of remorse or regret.

It takes a tremendous amount of self encouragement to pick ourselves up. On fortunate days, life would withhold its cruel demeanor and leave us alone. On other days, we are tripped again the moment we get back up on our feet.

There's no doubt that it hurts. No matter how much we anticipate it, we are still caught by surprise when life shows up out of nowhere. Here's the thing, life constantly has its eyes on us. Like a predator keeping a watchful eye on its potential meal, we are never out of sight. Knowing the inevitable, we need some getaway before it strikes again.

It began, then, the irony of all this cycle - a cycle of trips. One that we are desperately trying to take control of and one that's out of ours. When tripped one too many times, I too subject myself to this cycle. In a month of October, I was in need of a trip and I found myself on Penang Island. Given that I had been to the island twice in my lifetime, it wasn't my first option of a trip but as the cycle spinned, I desperately needed one. This brought me to the realization that I had been making a trip almost every other month. The brutal truth is I have been falling down all this time. Life tripped me by laying out incessant amount of work I had to complete and the continuous reminder that failure is just right at my doorstep if I don't push myself. When I'm not careful, I stumbled and I'm on my knees.

Even now, I'm still trapped in this cycle of tripped and trips. Undeniably, I vouch that I would find myself on a trip again. These trips may only span a few days but it becomes a part of life necessity if we are to recover past tripped as well as endure the pending ones in future. Perhaps the cycle of trips symbolize the cycle of life or perhaps, we are doomed to a perpetual falling down and standing up. Whatever the answer is, the cycle continues. At the very least, we are still standing up in the end.

The Comfort

A soothing warmth beamed through the window. Flickers of dust glided through the ray like tiny fairies reveled, ready for the new daylight. The ray gently creeped its way to a face in a slumber. As it reached, it tickled softly on the cheeks as if to wake up a sleeping baby. In a moment or two, there was success. As the mouth yawned, the nose wiggled and eyes blinked, yet, the body remained motionless. It was just a moment and then, all of it ceased.

In a state of weak consciousness, the mind was still aware. Half awaked, half dozing; half dreaming, half aroused. It was in this moment, the sense of touch was at its peak. A soft delight was felt as the silky fabric of the pillow rubbed against a weathered face. Never had the softness felt so comforting.

Meanwhile, the body was engulfed in a cozy comforter, wrapping itself around a tender embrace. It was this peaceful contentment rendering awakeness futile. 

Turning to the side, a familiar scent appeared. It lingered in the pillow and gradually transforming itself into a nostalgia. The urge to search for a missing hand underneath the comforter appeared but it faded just as it came when realization settled down. A feeling of loneliness suddenly hanged in the air. The comfort and delight were gone.

Somehow, the ray sensed this and dimmed itself down before it got too bright or hot, maintaining its warmth. Minutes later, the comfort returned and the body was in an embrace again. There was another presence this time but a welcoming one. An imaginary voice soothingly reassured, "I will be see you soon." Just like that the fairies are dancing again and the comfort took over the room.

A Day at a Coffee Parlor

In the late afternoon of a coffee parlor, there was sense of serenity. Aroma of freshly brewed caffeinated beverage lingers in the air. So thick was the scent that one would be bombarded by it even at the doorstep of the parlor. Even those who were not fond of caffeine would find the scent mesmerizingly alluring. 

While the scent of coffee and tea danced in the air, their stage varied from venues to venues. Most stages featured a vintage 1970s designs and layout with a slight touch of modernism. Audience flight find themselves dazed by the atmosphere, time travelled back to their elders' past life. Coming back to the current era, a lovely greet of welcome and smile would invite anyone in. All the seats would bring comfort and one would sink into it if stayed too long.

The lights were dim but the room was illuminating with interesting patrons. All of them sought for a little getaway from the tension imposed by urban lifestyle. Speakers would offer placating melody, massaging patrons' stress away. There was no need for headphones as the ambiance would sway you away with its lullaby. Just like a siren, all worries and sorrows were temporarily forgotten. Who wouldn't cuddle up to such embrace?

As with everything in this world, such comfort comes with a hefty patronage but none seemed to mind the cost. It was a needed remedy urban denizens required. Medicinal treats like tantalizing chocolate cake and therapeutic coffee rendered one wanting for more. However, one should control their intake lest one yearned to become a Lotus Eater.

The hours passed. Plates and cups on the table were empty again with a stain of delighted pleasure. A reluctance to part ways was held deep in the heart but the train of life was waiting. It was a quintessential ride one would not afford to miss. With a push of the table, steps were made towards the doorway. The train would stop here again and it would be a stop to look forward to. Just like that, in the late afternoon of a coffee parlor, there was sense of serenity.

Happy Halloween

"Boys and girls of every age, wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with us and you'll see, this's our town of Halloween."

Yes, today is the All Hallow's Eve when people suddenly develop a knack for everything spooky. Some take this as an opportunity to flaunt their eerie fashion sense and no one would judge since one is supposed to dress up.

To minimize this post so that you have a trick-a-treat fun fest, I leave you with Pumpkin Jack to wish you all a Happy Halloween 

Itinerary of Life

Review of my September comes a bit late. Heck, I'm only posting this on the second last day of October. I supposed that's what happens when no itineraries are made in one's journey of life. Your mind is aimless; steps are askew; paths are unclear.

Fortunately, the month of September had its itinerary planned out. Some are mine while others are planned by others. The major highlight of my Sept was my first ever company trip to Port Dickson, Seremban. The beach wasn't something to be wowed about but the sceneries were perfect backdrop to test my photography skills. To add on, it was a period where I could relax and pretend that I didn't have any kids to take care of.

My luggage wasn't unpacked after that. I continued on to see you know who in Gopeng but only for 2 days. It was a simple getaway as well to keep my sanity in check and remind me that I needed to build a cabin so that I might retire there one day when I couldn't handle city life anymore.

Uprooting is definitely in my itinerary in the pending future. While I'm not sure whether I mentioned this before, I'm a type of person who can't stay a place that I'm not comfortable with. Of course, those which I'm comfortable with, I will latch onto them like a leech and drain the life out of them (whahahahahaha).

Needless to say, what is your itinerary for your life? Plan anything yet? Even staying home and not doing anything is still a plan, though I'm not sure if it's an exciting one. Plan now before others plan your life for you.

My Thoughts on Avengers: Age of Ultron (1st Trailer)

In the land of geeks and fanboys, there was shrill from the denizens on 22 October when the first trailer of the upcoming Avengers Sequel was released. Labelled as a teaser trailer, it provided more than enough preview of the feature film, premiering next year May.

As a self-proclaimed fanboy and a major geek of the comic world, I just had to talk about it and one way to do it is via this blog. Firstly, similar to the reaction of most dedicated comic fans in the world, I'm just astounded; knocked off my chair; the little girl voice inside me screaming like a maniac; so on and so forth. My excitement for the film was indicated through my ceaseless replay of the trailer. I can be pretty crazy when it comes to my geek stuff.

Without wasting any more virtual space on my over-dramatic thrill, I will get right on to the trailer. While the movie will bring back the original cast of Avengers (some in new outfits), what I'm most excited about is the introduction of Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver. Most fanboys would know the perpetual hell of copyright discord between Marvel and Fox. So, it's interesting as to how Marvel Studios will bring about introducing the aforementioned characters without infringing on any rights. Plus, I'm a big fan of mutants. Specifically, I'm more interested in  Scarlet Witch. In the comics, she had both mutant abilities as well as actual magic. I don't care what others say because I'm still hoping Whedon would somehow make her powers slightly magical. C'mon. This is a perfect kickoff to tie the films to Marvel's supernatural superheroes.

Another interesting detail I retrieved from the trailer and other sources is the fact that some parts of the movies will be set in South Africa. The opening of trailer itself (according to commenters) is the skyline of Johannesburg. We all know which superhero derives from Africa - Black Panther. The other indicator of the Panther superhero is the appearance of actor, Andy Serkis whom fans believe is playing the role of Klaw, Panther's big bad.

Coming to the lead villain of the film, Ultron, I would have to say he is just stupendous. The featured song (I've got no strings from Disney's Pinocchio) in the trailer matches Ultron's demeanor lovely. However, I must say that I'm becoming a bit bored with the whole mechanical suits and robots. It just reminded me too much of Iron Man. It was great to see it for one or two films but it might be overladen if they keep this up.

So, what do you think of the trailer? If you haven't watch it, how could you? Just click the link below which will take you to Marvel's Official Youtube account to view the videos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmeOjFno6Do

Fallen

Ever find yourself trapped helplessly in a corner of a room? Lying down on the floor in a fetus position. Unable to get up and strive for the exit as if you are firmly glued to that corner. The room seems like a torture chamber but there are no captors keeping watch over you. As a matter of fact, you bind yourself to that corner of the room.

There are moments in life that even the strongest of us face a defeating sense of helplessness. The world, in your mind, is perpetually challenging you with seemingly impossible hurdles to jump over. 

One after another, there is no time or comfort to seek, even for just a short while. Arduous tasks are continuously hurled towards you by an unseen force.

One after another, you feel tired and hopeless to even give a damn about it any longer and you start to curl in that corner. It maybe dark and forlorn but there is some comfort in it for you don't even need to care anymore.

One after another, the unseen force persists on with its incessant tasks, piling up the room. Eventually, there will be no space or air left for you to breathe in if you continue to give in.

We all had those moments. Either you seek the comfort to give in or dig your way out until you find the exit for a fresher air to breathe in. Don't ever clip those wings and become a fallen angel when there's are better moments to behold.

(I dedicated this post to a special person who finds it hard to go through life in moments of defeat. Please fight on and see the light of the day when you deserve)

Alone

There are more than 7 billions of people in the whole wide world and Malaysia itself has an estimation of more than 29 millions. How is that people still find themselves sitting by the corner alone in the public? A simple task such as finding a companion for dinner or anything can be really exhausting.

For the past few weeks, maybe even months, I myself eating alone most of the times. There are times when I manage to snatch a friend away for a quick meal. Yet, most other times, I can't believe my only companion is my iPad which is practically useless if there's no WiFi.

Today, I had a wonderful time talking about Lara Croft with someone I just acquainted and usually, I would not reveal so much about myself in a conversation. Sometimes, I wonder if I am so miserably lonely that I couldn't care less who I socialize with anymore. It could be a total stranger for all I care.

I find this painstakingly annoying as I never face such situation before. Perhaps I did back then but it would just be a day or two being alone in front of my computer. Nowadays, I am alone almost everyday, especially in the presence of people surrounding me. Cliques here and there remind me too much of my social life in university. Furthermore, with Cyren away, I'm just down in the dirt, buried under several feet of earth.

Identifying Minifigures Series 12

With the release of the latest Minifigure Series, everyone is in a state of frenzy. I'm no exception. So far, I managed to snatch away three figures which are indicated in the picture below. Without further ado, I will show the tricks to detect these bricky figures.

1) Wizard
He is one of the two bricks with a decorated slope. The other one is the Fairytale Prince. To differentiate him from the princess, just feel for a stick and a diamond.

2) Hun Warrior
Just feel for the shield and sword. The horns are detachable so use them as an indicator.

3) Fairytale Princess
Similar to the Wizard, you will know it's the princess if there are no stick in the bag. You can try to detect the tiny froggie as well.

4) Video Game Guy
One might confuse him with the Jester but as long as you don't feel more than two 2 x 4 plate, it's the vid guy. Plus, Jester has a big hat that's a giveaway.

5) Battle Goddess
Another easy figure to detect. The shield and spear are easy to detect.

6) Space Miner
Just know that the space miner is the bulkiest in the whole series.

7) Lifeguard
The hot stud can be identified by his binoculars and float. The float is point on one end.

8) Prospector (the miner)
Look for his pickaxe

9) Jester
Look under Video Game Guy

10) Dino Tracker
The syringe and bow and arrow are the keys

11) Pizza Delivery Man
Look for the pizza and pizza box

12) Rock Star
The electric guitar but one has to be careful and not mistook the guitar for other stick-like props.

13) Swashbuckler
His hat and sword can be identified easily. The sword is bendy.

14) Piggy Guy
Apple

15) Genie Girl
Two things; her long hair, the genie bottom. As long as you feel the bag contains no regular minifigure legs, it's her.

16) Spooky Girl
The teddy bear and her soft (literally) hair. It never occured to me that her hair is squishy until one Legofan told me so.


As far as I know, the Genie Girl is the rarest but everyone seemed to aim for the Piggy Guy. Spooky Girl wasn't supposed to be hard to find but I only managed to find one in a recently opened box. Guess everyone is aiming for her too. Swashbuckler, Dino Tracker and Video Game Guy are some of the common ones. Seriously, there's too much of them.

Anyhow, hope you all find what you want. I still have a few figures I'm eyeing for.

Know Your Limit

Too often that our surroundings fill us with the notion of achieving as many goals and dreams before "time runs out". Too often that our environment enforce the idea of reaching beyond the stars or else, life would be nothing but a pointless journey. Too often that our parents, teachers and even motivational strangers would encourage us to sacrifice fun and live prosperously.

Amidst these notions and 'encouragement', we blindly charge ahead, believing more is better in a world of consumption. We thrive at the idea of living large while pity or scorn those who are happy and satisfied with a not-so-high income. In our mind, all we ever know is to achieve your goals and aim for the top prize. To put it in simple terms, we simply want to win.

In contrast, I'm not implying that we should not have goal. As a matter of fact, it is essential that we set a few goals in our life so that we won't walk astray and aimless, especially in this doggy dog world that we unavoidably live in.

Problem arises when we set no boundaries for ourselves and persist in striving for more when our shoulders could not bear the weight anymore. Consequently, we find our wallowing in tears and stress, not knowing where all these pressures are coming from. As we are so caught up with achievement, we punish ourselves with self loathing when we do not push for the extra mile.

Unfortunately, not all of us realize the origins of our tensions. Comfort are, instead found in the form of pills and therapy. In my life experience, I trapped myself in this awful notion once. Being one of best in class was all that occupied my mind. My soul was a competitive one but at the cost of someone else's endeavour. In the end, a little part of me crumpled and it took a very long time to repair it. It wasn't until I realized that while goals are imperative to our social survival, it's not fatal to us if we do not succeed them.

In a nutshell, we need to understand the limits that we can impose on our body and our mind. Don't crumple up and dissolve into a messy pulp but most of all don't inflict pain on yourself.

Life Story of a Lego Lover: Conquest

Picking up from where I left off in the other post, I was on top of the bricks. From seafaring pirates to heroic firefighters to ghoulish ghost, I had it all. Every opportunity that I encountered, I would want to have it. An empire was within my grasp. Of course, all of these required the help of parental support. Nonetheless, my conquest of LEGO sets were expanding.

Like all famous conquerors in history, the thirst for lands and resources would never be quenched. If so, the British would not have sailed all the way to Malaysia and left its quaint lifestyle here nor would the Vietnamese be able to borrow culinary ideas from the French such as the extensive usage for a baguette. Indeed, my thirst was similar to all these conquerors.

Unlike all these conquerors, my quest for dominion did no include any treaties or bonds of loyalty. In other words, I would yearn for toys with interlocking bricks. As long as the toys have interlocking bricks that I could build a tower with, I would want it. I supposed back then, the concept of brand was not familiar to me. In my eyes, all toys were the same and the labels were just different colorful words that I would completely ignore.

Thus, my possessions included LEGO-ish toys from A&W, a knock off brand that a factory somewhere managed to produce, another knock off which I got hold of at the night market and among many more. It never occurred to me that all these bricks were different but I did notice the vast difference in price. During days of privation (that is, me with limited pocket money), I would opt for the cheaper products but most of the time, my parents surprised me with the real deal.

It was not long after that I realized certain bricks did not fit well together. I was perplexed of course. How was it that some bricks fit perfectly together while others would fall apart immediately the moment I turned it upside down? A mystery to which I solved when I noticed the tiny LEGO words on each legitimate LEGO bricks and minifigures.

As I scratched my head to this findings, I began to wonder why some other bricks were not branded. This was when I first understood copyrights. My eyes opened up to all the things around my house and school. Certain things might look the same but they might not necessary derive from the same source. Soon enough, the dark magic of materialism and branding had overthrown my innocent/naive mind and I unconsciously fell under their influence, following their rules and regulation.

Just like that, I was conquered. While I eventually realized this colonization of my perception of the world, it had integrated itself into me. Similar to all the colonized countries of the world, we want independence and governance of our country or culture. Yet, we cannot deny the influence the past has on our lifestyle. Sometimes, we are not even aware of it and perceive things as the way it has always been.

Regardless, my love for Lego was a relationship I dare not break. One must know that all relationships have its ups and downs and mine was no exceptional. My next life story would feature the love/hate relationship I had experience with my favorite toy brand.

Chronicles of My Motorbike: Kitty Loves My Bike

No worries. There would be no road accident stories for this post. In fact, current post revolves around a feline friend that has been exploiting my bike as a personal cozy bed.

Just about anywhere we live, one is bound to find stray animals strolling around while putting on the saddest face to beg for food. So, around my neighborhood, there lives this cute cuddly cat which could lose a few pounds. A few weeks after I moved in to my new place, I noticed it running around with that bug-eyed face, asking for some catnip or something. Given that I have no cat food to bargain with it, I ignored it.

One morning as I was walking towards my motorbike, getting ready to go to work, there it was, that cute cuddly cat resting in the basket of my motorbike. It laid in there like a feline royalty. When it heard me coming nearer to my bike, it was startled at first, not knowing whether to move or continue its majestic nap. On the off chance that the cat had fleas, I couldn't care less how cute it was. I shooed it away.

Next few mornings later, I came across the same putty cat and like our first encounter on the bike, it was resting like a royalty. I admitted that I kinda fell for it with it cute cuddly face and that fluffy stomach. The same couldn't be say when it saw me as it quickly jolted away, giving me the irritated look on its face as I sat on her majestic throne.

I supposed the cat learned that the throne was mine to reign because it never came back to dominate it after that morning. Cats maybe regal but they know their own territory to rule. Nonetheless, I'm still frightened by the possibility of fleas overthrowing me for my bike.

Life Story of a LEGO Lover: New Found Interest

Once upon a brick ago, there lived a seemingly innocent boy in a small town built on Southeast Asia's largest island. This town was conquered by ethnically similar townsfolk with a knack for not minding their own business. Such was the lifestyle when the only excitement residents could enjoy was the annual holiday sales.

As for this little boy, his surrounding was filled with such like-minded people as well. He would have joined their cult if it wasn't for the superhero that saved him. That superhero was LEGO. More accurately, it was DUPLO, a subdivision of LEGO catered towards kids below 5 years old. Kids have the habit of swallowing anything that they can put into their mouth, especially something as colourful as LEGO bricks. Thus, DUPLO was created as temporary replacement until kids move pass their Oral Stage.

Coming back to the little boy, for as young as he could remember, he always had these blocks called DUPLO. Back then, he didn't really know the name. All he knew was that he had this interlocking blocks along with a few animal characters which he could place on top of the blocks. He was happy with such a simple toy design. Eventually, DUPLO was switched to LEGO, the one with the smaller bricks but the fun was still there nonetheless. In his mind, he was building a plastic empire with his little animal friends. In his parents' mind, it was something they could occupy him while they were busying gossiping about other people's life.

In the next coming months, the boy was so fascinated with these bricks that a little green monster called Greed was growing inside him. He wanted more. He wanted to expand his empire and there weren't enough resources. Unfortunately, the complexity of these interlocking bricks in the small town was too much for the minds of the locals to bear. Hence, it was slightly impossible for the boy to find these goodies in the town. He relied on his caretaker - his father - to savage these rare plastic goodies.

Of course, the father had to travel to this foreign land to find these plastic treasures. Sometimes he would come home with a handful of these plastic bricks and sometimes he would come home empty handed. Initially, the Greed inside the boy was in its infancy. So, the empty handedness didn't really bother him. However, as the collection piled up, the Greed transformed into a tiny gremlin, fed by constant wanting and needing.The boy would find himself shouting, sulking and crying for in his mind, he had the image of an uncaring father. It was one of those obnoxious moments which no rational adults wanted to recall.

While the introduction of DUPLO/LEGO brought creativity and imagination to this little boy, it inadvertently set him on a path to a world of materialism and avarice. Nonetheless, the good virtue of playing these interlocking bricks would eventually develop in this boy but whether he was faithful to the same interlocking bricks is another story for another post.