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Friday, January 16, 2015

No More Wishes

Do you remember a time long ago, when you couldn’t stop yourself from counting down the days and you would wake up every morning complaining why the big day couldn’t be here soon? Yes, I’m talking about your birthday. Like everyone else, I always dreamed of the perfect birthday since childhood. In my mind, I expected a room full of streamers and balloons of myriad of colors as if someone had sprayed a whole school supply of paint. To add to the palette, a corner of the room would be piled up by blocks of presents in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Meanwhile, sounds of laughter and joy echoed throughout the room as both adults and children happily enjoyed each other’s company. Last but not least, the dining table would be speckled with mouth watering dishes catered to each taste bud. Fried chicken, stirred fried veggies, cheesy macaroni, steamed pomfret with a dash of yummy sweet vinegar sauce. Laid out around the table, the centerpiece would be, nonetheless, a huge chocolate-filled chocolate brownie cake dribbled extra chocolate sauce and sprinkled with vivid color-dyed rice. As everyone joined hands, a birthday song would be sung with me anticipating a wish come true as I blew out the only light in a dark room, sending a message to a wish granter in the hope that my wish would come true. Not a moment later, everyone would dig in and more echoes of joy will occupy the room.

That was the magic of a birthday. Be it a kid or an adult, miracles can happen on a person’s birthday, even if it may only play out in the person’s head. Plus, nothing is as magical as a birthday wish. The energy of a wish is at its highest peak when a person closes his or her eyes while clasping the hands really tightly, almost like praying, to really hope that the wish would be granted on the special day. I too had such magical thoughts but as the ages passed, it faded.

Not more than a week ago, I was celebrating my 24th birthday. While I was bestowed with kind birthday wishes, the companionship of loved ones and several cakes, I realized I was as hopeful as I once used to be. The anticipation of a colorful room with laughter echoing was not there anymore. Even as a lovely scrumptious cake was presented to me, I couldn’t wait to blow it out even if no wishes were made. Somehow or rather, I just couldn’t wait to get it over with. This isn’t implying that my friends were source of lackluster of the day. They were great as they did their best to make sure my day was special and I couldn’t be more thankful. However, it didn’t eliminate the gnawing feeling I had in my heart. Perhaps I have become a grouchy birthday-equivalent Grinch or I have misplaced my wishful thoughts somewhere in the passage of time. I couldn’t see the Wish Granter. A dark room with a candle lit is just a dark room to me now. There’s no indication of hope or dream. My birthday was no longer special. It was another ordinary mundane day.

It sounds depressing and I couldn’t deny it. I do wish, though, that someday I could visit that joyous room again.



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